Take It or Leave It?: Timothée Chalamet
Former Columbia and NYU student Timothée Chalomet has quickly become Hollywood's biggest deal with performances in Lady Bird and Call Me By Your Name this past year. All the dreamy looks and stellar acting aside, we've got to ask: should we take him, or leave him?
The GOOD:
image source: Getty / Kevin Winter |
The GOOD:
- Is the perfect guy to fall in love with if you like Tom Hiddleston, but want him to be a little more vulnerable
- First name is conjugated in the feminine form rather than the traditional masculine form, because fuck gendered linguistics am I right
- If acting doesn't work out for him, his jaw could start its own carpentry business
- I've scrolled up 20 times just writing this article to look at his fucking face
- Has found a way to live as an actor without posting any annoying front-camera "vlogs" to his Instagram story
- Looks like what happens if you use a Thunder Stone on Finn Wolfhard
- Never once used the phrase "so blessed to announce" when posting to Facebook about his career
- Received widespread acclaim for his landmark performance in "Law and Order"
- Has secured an Oscar nomination without the use of any really obnoxious method acting
- Full possession of mainstream spotlight has allowed Joe Keery and Dacre Montgomery to just sort of... live their lives
- Has large enough coattails for Armie Hammer to be nice and comfortable during his time riding them
- Has yet to remind us all that he is indeed still just a white male
The BAD:
- His attractiveness transcends sexual preference, thus not making me question my sexuality as much as other young male heartthrobs
- Despite major successes still has to live with three roommates in Hell's Kitchen and deliver for Seamless to afford rent
- Transferred from Columbia to NYU's Gallatin School of I Am Already Famous
- Is making us momentarily forget that men in Hollywood are terrible and trash
- Breaking French tradition by not immediately surrendering to British and American competitors
- Was only nominated for Best Actor in one of the Oscar nominated films he was a part of this year
- Has only the second coolest name in the cast of Call Me By Your Name
- Has yet to locate and defeat his evil twin, Tinselday Chardonnay
- Frequent comparisons to James Dean and River Phoenix have us all a little bit nervous moving forward
- Refuses to correct ignorant American pronunciations of his name out of pure politeness
- Probably won't be relevant for more than the next 300 years
FINAL GRADE: Yeah, he's pretty, but is he actually talented? Yeah. But does he have longevity? Okay, yeah. But like, is he really a decent guy... yes. The answer's yes. For now.
A.
A.
-NB
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