Participation Awards: Week of 3/23
What's a good millennial without an "everybody gets a medal" ceremony? In this column, we look to highlight the best and worst people in the media from this past week. Let's throw a gender reveal party and enroll ourselves into an expensive liberal arts college in Vermont to study art history with a minor in Ancient Celtic philosophy in this week's Participation Awards.
The You Did It! Trophy
The You Did It! Trophy
March Madness - It's late March, which means college basketball is relevant nationwide, for its annual 64 team tournament to decide the nation's best group of paid-but-shhh-they-aren't-paid college athletes. Every year my friends and I join the millions of sports sadists in filling out a predictive bracket of our own, in hopes of winning the grand prize of mild viral fame. Also taking place every year is the annual "fuck you and your dreams" party that a mid-major school famously holds when it upsets a higher seed in the tournament. This year, the host of the party was University of Maryland Baltimore County.
The 16th seed Retrievers drew top overall seed and perennial disappointment (regardless of sport) University of Virginia in the first round. The Retrievers performed as everyone expected when they squashed the number one Cavaliers by 20 points, becoming the first 16 seed to ever knock off a 1 seed in NCAA men's tournament history (the Harvard women's team did so in the 1998 tournament). While it's certain that every bracket in the universe disintegrated at the same time with this win, you couldn't help but root for UMBC moving forward before their second round departure.
The long-term cinderella story this year comes in the form of 11 seed Loyola Chicago, improbably fighting their way to the Elite Eight (quarterfinals) on the back of Sister Jean, a 98-year-old nun whose emotional investment to the LC basketball team made her an overnight sensation. Only time will tell whether Sister Jean's praying will be enough to take Loyola-Chicago to the promised land. She's not gonna kill them though. I mean like, winning the tournament. Not dying.
The You Did It Too! Award
Mark Zuckerberg - Your secret album of screenshots of Avatar: The Last Airbender concept art may have had a few extra viewers this past week. Facebook was under attack when data firm Cambridge Analytica swiped the data of 50 million Facebook users. Statistically, that means if your family has the nuclear average of 4 members in your household, your uncle should stop posting creepy comments to your friends' profile pictures.
Zuckerberg released a statement recently, taking responsibility for the entirety of the leaks. The data farming can be traced back to Cambridge researcher Aleksandr Kogan, who works nights as a James Bond villain. Kogan got his hands on the data originally by creating a personality quiz which, upon confirmation from users, would have access to friends' data as well as the original user's. Let this be a lesson to all of us that sometimes, it's better we don't find out which Game of Thrones house we'd be in according to a series of questions.
-NB
Follow Us!
@danieljamesfoster on Grinstatram
@willpkeith on Chrinstasham
@noahleebreymeier on there are parts of Puerto Rico still without power.
secure.savethechildren.org/HurricaneMaria to donate.
The You Did It! Trophy
 |
| image via Getty Images The Retrievers of University of Maryland-Baltimore County made sports history by upsetting #1 overall seed University of Virginia in the men's national championship tournament. The first time ever that a 16 seed defeated a 1 seed, the Retrievers established themselves as g o o d b o y e s in the eyes of history. |
The You Did It! Trophy
March Madness - It's late March, which means college basketball is relevant nationwide, for its annual 64 team tournament to decide the nation's best group of paid-but-shhh-they-aren't-paid college athletes. Every year my friends and I join the millions of sports sadists in filling out a predictive bracket of our own, in hopes of winning the grand prize of mild viral fame. Also taking place every year is the annual "fuck you and your dreams" party that a mid-major school famously holds when it upsets a higher seed in the tournament. This year, the host of the party was University of Maryland Baltimore County.
The 16th seed Retrievers drew top overall seed and perennial disappointment (regardless of sport) University of Virginia in the first round. The Retrievers performed as everyone expected when they squashed the number one Cavaliers by 20 points, becoming the first 16 seed to ever knock off a 1 seed in NCAA men's tournament history (the Harvard women's team did so in the 1998 tournament). While it's certain that every bracket in the universe disintegrated at the same time with this win, you couldn't help but root for UMBC moving forward before their second round departure.
The long-term cinderella story this year comes in the form of 11 seed Loyola Chicago, improbably fighting their way to the Elite Eight (quarterfinals) on the back of Sister Jean, a 98-year-old nun whose emotional investment to the LC basketball team made her an overnight sensation. Only time will tell whether Sister Jean's praying will be enough to take Loyola-Chicago to the promised land. She's not gonna kill them though. I mean like, winning the tournament. Not dying.
The You Did It Too! Award
Mark Zuckerberg - Your secret album of screenshots of Avatar: The Last Airbender concept art may have had a few extra viewers this past week. Facebook was under attack when data firm Cambridge Analytica swiped the data of 50 million Facebook users. Statistically, that means if your family has the nuclear average of 4 members in your household, your uncle should stop posting creepy comments to your friends' profile pictures.
Zuckerberg released a statement recently, taking responsibility for the entirety of the leaks. The data farming can be traced back to Cambridge researcher Aleksandr Kogan, who works nights as a James Bond villain. Kogan got his hands on the data originally by creating a personality quiz which, upon confirmation from users, would have access to friends' data as well as the original user's. Let this be a lesson to all of us that sometimes, it's better we don't find out which Game of Thrones house we'd be in according to a series of questions.
-NB
Follow Us!
@danieljamesfoster on Grinstatram
@willpkeith on Chrinstasham
@noahleebreymeier on there are parts of Puerto Rico still without power.
secure.savethechildren.org/HurricaneMaria to donate.
Comments
Post a Comment